“Why do singles push marriage at a later age or push it away altogether?”
This was one of the questions of our volunteer leaders asked recently.
It can be one of three things: many are UNEASY, UNCERTAIN or UNCLEAR. (this list is by no means exhaustive)
Probably uneasy because of the many horror stories we’ve heard or even the bad experiences we personally have gone through. Philippine Daily Inquirer reports that there has been a 40% increase in annulments in the Philippines.
Uncertain because of what might the future hold. After all, financial stability is a major consideration for anyone who is going to get married.
Unclear would refer to the purpose of marriage. It is possible that a wrong understanding of marriage can make a person terrified at making that big leap.
Because of these reasons, some have chosen cohabitation. They move in together to ‘test-drive’ the relationship. (previous blog post here)
Now, test driving the relationship is not a good idea.
Number 1, your partner is not a car.
Number 2, the other person feels devalued and depreciated, particularly the ladies, if the relationship doesn’t work out because we all know that as soon as we drive a car out of the dealership, there’s an automatic 20% mark down it’s original price. Depreciation happens.
Number 3, it doesn’t work. How come? Research tells us that couples who cohabit before marriage have a higher rate of divorce than those who don’t.
MARRIAGE IS A GOOD THING.
The Bible says that “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.” (Proverbs 18:22)
Marriage is a good thing.
The Bible doesn’t just state that, but even health science supports it. (article here)
Here’s a short summary of the article:
* Men alive at 48 years old have a 90 percent chance of reaching 65 if they are married, but only a 60 to 70 percent chance if they are single.
*A married man with heart disease can expect to live, on average, nearly four years longer than an unmarried man with a healthy heart
*Unmarried people spend 2x as much time in hospitals as married people.
*Rates of major depression are 9x higher in unmarried men.
*Depression, and in particular dysphoria – a feeling of anxiety, depression, and unease – is higher in single women compared to married women.
MARRIAGE IS FROM GOD.
It’s not just a good thing but also a God thing.
He invented marriage. He instituted it. It was His idea.
Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher was married for 86 years which was why they made it to Guinness World Records. They were asked what their secret was.
His answer? “No secrets. There isn’t any secret. It was only God that kept us together.”
Her answer? “We are both Christians and believe in God. Marriage is a commitment to the Lord. We pray with and for each other every day.”
Since marriage is God’s idea, it is He who will give grace to keep the 2 together.
PS. I like what Louise commented below. There are those who have been called to be single so that they can serve Jesus in this lifetime which I believe is a high calling.