The object of your faith is greater than the reason for your fear.

I had lunch with a young man recently who wanted to pursue someone.

I asked him what was keeping him from laying down his intentions. They’ve been friends for sometime. They seem to get along well. They both have jobs. And most of all, they both love Jesus.

Was there an assurance that she will say yes to courtship? NONE.
I couldn’t give him one and he definitely had no idea if she was going to say yes or no.

But he was decided to go for it.

He said he’s prayed for it and believes that this is what God wants him to do. He is attracted to her physically, but more so spiritually because of her heart for God.

I gave him a firm handshake. I told him that I realize that he’s taking a risk but that’s all part of the adventure. I was actually proud of him.

Even in pursuing, faith is involved.

Fear can paralyze. But faith can galvanize.
Fear can debilitate. But faith can activate.
Fear desists. But faith persists.

Remember, the object of your faith (God) is greater than the reason for your fear.

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. (Hebrews 11:1, NLT)


A young man came up to me recently who I honored and admired.

He told me he was attracted to this lady and wanted to lay down his intentions of pursuing her.  Now just to provide context, both are now working and done with schoool.

He said that it can go either way – that she will say ‘yes’ or he’ll end up ‘on the floor, bloody.’  Pretty funny how he put it but yet I encouraged him to go for it, prayed for him and let me know what happens.

In a day and age when men would rather be sure (the seguristas) to have their girl on the palm of their hands before they lay down their intention to pursue, this guy was going against the flow.

I’ve seen men who have done this and have done it in a way that honored God and the women they were pursuing.  Some successfully pursued and now married like Dan, Dennis and Joe while others ended up on the floor bloody as my friend put it.

But either way, the result was that God was honored in the process and that the lady didn’t end up getting reeled in and hurt.

As Randy Pope says,

“Ladies, if you want a king, you’ve got to be a queen.
Guys, if you want a queen, you’ve got to be a king.”

Kings treat their future queen as a princess.

Paul, in Philippians says it this way,

‘Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush.’ (Philippians 1:9-10 The Message Bible)

Let your love be sincere and intelligent and not mere sentimental gush.


I had breakfast with one of the guys from church.

Just like many of the single guys in church, we talked about relationships, marriage and the future.

We discussed about clarifying why we do what we do. We easily fall into the trap of searching for that thing, that person, that relationship, that career, that gadget – to bring significance and security.

In other words, another functional savior. (To read my recent blog post on this, click here.)

In the course of the conversation, we talked about courtship and getting to know a person you’d like to pursue.

I asked him, “What’s stopping you from pursuing someone?”

Several valid answers were given.

I began to tell him some of the horrific stories I’ve been told of men reeling in ladies like a sea bass and when they’re all in hook, line and sinker, the nylon line gets cut.

They end up injured, hurt and bleeding.

In other words, DEFRAUDED.

Defrauding is “starting something you cannot righteously fulfill.”

Roses, chocolates, text messages, “mwahs”, facebook status updates referring to her, dinners… and when she’s has fallen, whether intentionally or inadvertently, the man drops her like a hot potato.

The Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 4:6-7, “No one should take advantage of or exploit other believers that way. The Lord is the one who punishes people for all these things. We’ve already told you and warned you about this. God didn’t call us to be sexually immoral but to be holy.”

Men, a word of reminder: women are gifts from God. They are meant to be treasured, not displayed and dropped when you get tired of them.

Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”