Tag: entitlement

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THE PROBLEM WITH ENTITLEMENT

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I had an insightful meeting with a friend who I look up to even though he is much younger.

David and I met at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf at Bonifacio High Street.

As the conversation progressed, the topic of entitlement crept up.

Entitlement is believing the world owes you something just because you exist.

Several things happen when we have this sense of entitlement.

1. We demand.

Because we think the world owes us a favor for existing, we demand things to our favor.

“You need to serve me.”
“You should be glad I even showed up to your party.”
“You have to appreciate all I do for you.”
“You have to meet my needs because I am God’s gift to you.”

I realize that we may not articulate it the way I’ve written it but in some shape or form, it sounds that way.

2. We complain.

Because you owe me for being your friend, spouse, boss, brother, sister, parent, pastor, small group leader, coach, then if you don’t deliver what I expect you to deliver, then I am disappointed.

If you don’t meet my expectations, then I am frustrated to the point of grumbling.

3. We become ungrateful.

Gratefulness is our number 1 weapon against grumbling.

But because you owe me for my existence, then nothing you do will satisfy my craving for being served.

Because I should be the center of your world, then all that you do pales in comparison to my expectations.

Thus, we become ungrateful.

Here’s the truth, just in case you don’t know it yet: the world DOES NOT owe us a favor.

We have what we have because Someone provided, gave, sustained and helped.

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. (1 Thes. 5:18)

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. (James 1:17)

give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever! (Ps. 107:1)

Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe. (Heb. 12:28)

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THE DANGER WITH ENTITLEMENT

We had dinner with my younger sister, Meg, last night who works for an airline as a flight attendant.

She told us many stories about her experiences – some funny, many were interesting, others scary and horrific.

There was one when she had a passenger who was seated near the emergency exit. Because she was where she was, airline regulations won’t allow her to have a bag in front of her, more so, on her lap.  In cases of emergency, the emergency exit will need to be clear of any obstructions.

This passenger had her bag on her lap and was asked by my sister to stow it on the overhead bin. She refused. And refused. And refused. It came to a point that the altercation reached a point when she needed to call the captain and security.

She unwillingly surrendered her ‘precious cargo’ (her laptop) to be stowed in the overhead compartment.

On her way out, she screamed at my sister, grabbed her arm and told her, “I hate you… Ako ang nagpapasweldo sa yo. (I’m the one paying for your salary.)”

I was so proud of my sister for not retaliating and just replying, “Have a good day, ma’am.”

Now it is true that the lady paid for her fare. (Probably a ‘piso’ fare.)
But to say she’s the one that pays for all the cabin crew’s salary is off the wall.

I tell you this story not to get us all upset at the lady passenger but to make us realize that we are all capable of doing something stupid like this and fall into ‘entitlement.’

When we’ve been in a company that long, or in a team for some time, or leading the organization for a while, or working for your boss for all these years, this dangerous attitude called entitlement can creep in.

King David, after serving God for many years and serving his nation battle after battle had this to say…

“Who am I, O Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far? Do you deal with everyone this way, O Sovereign LORD? 22 “How great you are, O Sovereign LORD! There is no one like you. We have never even heard of another God like you!  (2 Samuel 7:18-19, 22)

David could’ve listed down all the things he has done for God.

But instead, he starts listing down all that God has done for him.

And this is one way to destroy entitlement.