RELATIONAL LEADERSHIP

Season 1: The Leader Within | Blog #1

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7 (NKJV)

I once saw my mentor at a grocery store. He didn’t know I was there.

After loading his bags into the car, he walked back and returned the cart to the cart return. He didn’t have to. No one was watching, or at least he didn’t think anyone was. But he did it anyway.

It stopped me. Because I had heard this man talk about self-leadership and self-discipline many times. And right there, in a parking lot, over a grocery cart, I saw it. Not performed. Not preached. Just lived.

That moment taught me something I’ve never forgotten: the most important relationship in leadership is the one you have with yourself. Because who you are when no one is watching is who you actually are.

I’ve had to learn this the hard way.

For a long time, I struggled with procrastination. I knew the deadline. I had the time. But I’d wait. I’d tell myself I work better under pressure. And then the last minute would come, and the work I’d put out, the work I’d put my name on, was sloppy. Not because I lacked the ability. But because I hadn’t led myself well enough to show up before the pressure forced me to.

That’s what Proverbs 23:7 is really saying. Your leadership is an expression of your inner life. What you tolerate in yourself, you will eventually produce in your work, and your team will feel it.

Self-leadership is not a concept. It’s the daily, unglamorous work of being honest with yourself about what you’re avoiding, what you’re allowing, and what you need to change.

It starts with you. It always does.

This is the first post in the Relational Leadership series. Every week, we go a little deeper.