I received a Facebook message asking how to talk to a person who is living in with her boyfriend.

“During the small group discussion, they found out that this new girl was living in with her boyfriend. The new girl had questions with regards to relationships.

…being in that situation, what would be the best thing to say and do? Open the Bible and direct her to the verses that apply to her? Oh, to make things a little more complicated, the newbie’s boyfriend told her that if she leaves him because of her religion/faith, it’s like she’s condemning him.

I know that the choice of words matter a lot if I wanted the right message to be conveyed.”

This was my reply to her…

First of all, let me establish biblical principles and standards.

Fornication is sin. Sexual immorality is against the design of God. (1 Thes. 4:7)
Sex is something God created and it is beautiful … within the boundaries of marriage and marriage ALONE.

Now, in terms of confronting a person in your small group, it is important to consider the relationship.
If you have a good relationship, the Bible says that open rebuke is better than hidden love. Therefore, i will ask God for the perfect opportunity to talk to my friend about the ‘live in’ relationship. Obviously not in front of anyone so that he/she won’t be put on the spot.

If there’s no relationship, I will do my best to connect with this person so that i can earn the right to be heard so that i can come and approach with love, compassion and much of the grace of God.

The gospel is not just for those who don’t know Christ. It is equally for those who know Jesus and yet living in sin.

When Jesus said, it is finished, He meant, it is paid for – both for the Christian and those who don’t follow Christ.

Hope this helps.

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