RUDE (Dad’s Side of the Story)

My friend Joe sent this link to me from You Tube and I couldn’t help laughing and at the same time nod my head in agreement. So I went ahead and blogged about it.

Found in the link is a cover of Magic’s song RUDE by Benjie Cowart.

As a dad of an 11 year old girl, he thought he’d respond to the original song’s line,
“I’m going to marry her anyway.”

“I was like, ‘You know what? I need to write a response to that because the dads are not being represented well,” replied Cowart who is a professional Christian-music songwriter from Nashville. Cowart is also an instructor for the National Praise and Worship Institute at Trevecca Nazarene University in Nashville.

Here are a few of my favorite lines from his parody.

Seeking permission to marry my princess, son what’s wrong with your big head?
It’s the first time I met you, why would I let you run off with my baby girl?
Get back in your Pinto. It’s time that you go. The answer is no.

You say you want my daughter for the rest of your life,
well you gotta make more than burgers and fries.
Get out your momma’s basement, go and get you a life.
Son, you’re 28, don’t you think it’s time?

Why you gotta call me rude?
I’m doing what a dad should do — keep her from a fool like you.

And if you marry her anyway, you marry that girl, I’m gonna punch your face.
You marry that girl, I’ll make you go away.
You marry that girl, you’re in the bottom of a lake.

You may not get this, let me explain coz you need to understand
This is forever, she deserves better
She really needs a grown man
I know what you’re thinking, you think you’d still take her
Now give it your best shot
I may be a Christian but I’d go to prison
I’m not scared of doing hard time




Dad, what are you trying to build?

Going through the book of 1st and 2nd Kings, you’ll notice a phrase that keeps getting mentioned, “…and he did evil in the eyes of the Lord…” (1 Kings 15:25-26, 33-34, 16:24, 30, 22:52)

From Ahaziah to Asa, Pekahiah to Pekah, Joram to Jeroboam. The list goes up to 32.

Only 8 of the 40 kings did not have this phrase attached to his name.

One of the things that the kings failed to achieve (though they won many wars and battles) is that they didn’t build sons.  They built kingdoms, yes, but they didn’t build sons.

As a father, what are you trying to accomplish?

Deuteronomy 6:4-7 sh0ws us our 2-fold job description as a dad.

4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.


A lot of this is caught rather than taught.

As we love God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength, our kids will observe it and imitate.

A word of caution, they can tell if it’s fake or real.  Kids these days are way too smart.  They can smell hypocrisy from 100 miles.


Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

In other words, wherever you are, talk to them about God’s word.  This cannot just happen in church or else our kids will learn to compartamentalize their spiritual life.

“Worshipping God is at church. But when I’m in school, I’m worshipping someone else.”

They will not articulate that statement but they may definitely fall into the trap of living it.

Whether we are a royalty or a ‘commoner’, we are not exempted from these.  This is something we cannot delegate to our ‘subjects’ or to our ‘servants’.



I had dinner with our Senior Pastor from our Every Nation Church in Christchurch New Zealand.  Brian (who is one of our fine campus ministers at Victory Fort) and I listened as we learned a lot from Bernhard Wewege.

Here are some of the parenting tips we learned from him:


Your children will grow up very secure as they see Mom and Dad sincerely take care of each other in good times and bad.  They will not articulate how secure they feel especially as young tots, but this is going to be very clear as they grow into adulthood.


Know your kids’ friends.  Find out what they like and they don’t like.  Learn the things they love doing.  Study your kids and get into it.

Recitals.  Sporting events.  Graduations.  Exhibits.  Musical shows.

Be sure to be there.


As parents, we don’t like our kids to commit the same mistakes we committed in the past.  We try our very best to protect them so they avoid the pitfalls that life may bring.

Unfortunately, we can’t be GOD because we are NOT.  We can’t be there 24/7.  We just need to keep pounding on the principles we desire to lodge in their hearts and hope that when the time comes, they’ll have the wisdom to apply what they have learned.


We can’t tell them to live for God if we ourselves don’t.  Devotions in the morning can’t be forced.  They are modeled.  Prayer times are not mandated.  They are exemplified.  Believing God for greater things can’t be decreed.  They have to be exercised in front of our kids.

Model faith in Christ.  Remember, much of it is caught not taught.

5. PRAY.

There is no greater parenting tip than to pray for your kids everyday.

Pastor Bernhard talked about praying for your kids’ hearts to have a tenderness toward the Holy Spirit.

Why?  Many times, they actually know right from wrong.  It is the tenderness to the Holy Spirit, to listen to His voice and prompting, that will make them have a desire to obey God and do the right thing.

I am so thankful for mentors like Pastor Bernhard who we can glean from and learn from so we can become the parents God designed us to be.


Reading a book by Chap and Dee Clark.  They sampled a letter of a young lady who is calling out to her dad to be a father.

“I don’t know where to start… there is so much I want to tell you about the real me, but you only see me as your “little girl.”  In fact, we’ve even joked about it before.

I remember when we first moved to Kansas.  I was growing out of the back rub stage, but I guess the move made me need you even more.  You wrote me a letter when I was eight, commenting on this, but I still needed those back rubs.  You sent me the letter nine years later and I read it for the first time a week ago.  I sobbed when I read it.  I realized that every once in a while I still need a daddy to take me in his arms and protect me from this awful world and keep me out of harm’s way.  Yet I need a father ,too.  Someone who will prepare me for the real world.  Daddy, will you be my father, too?”

Here’s a few key thoughts Chap and Dee Clark wanted to share so we can be the dads our girls need to be:

1. Take her seriously.

When a child enters adolescence, the key word for her is independence.  This is an adolescent quest – to be treated as and to feel like an individual who matters.

2. Care about what she thinks.

Let her know that her opinions and ideas are important to you.  She is not just part of the family, but she is an important part of the family.

3. Walk with her through the journey of the adolescence.

She inherently needs and desires a unique relationship with daddy.  This is an opportunity to treat her in a more grown up way and to trust and encourage her as she navigates these years.

But the most important thing is to let her know that whatever happens, daddy is for her, with her and will journey with her through everything she’d go through.