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I read an article by Kathy Keller, co-author of “The Meaning Of Marriage” with Timothy Keller.

Here’s a excerpt of that article.

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There are only three ways an unequal marriage can turn out, (and by unequal I am willing to stretch a point and include genuine, warm Christians who want to marry an in-name-only Christian, or someone very, very far behind them in Christian experience and growth):

1. In order to be more in sync with your spouse, the Christian will have to push Christ to the margins of his or her life. This may not involve actually repudiating the faith, but in matters such as devotional life, hospitality to believers (small group meetings, emergency hosting of people in need), missionary support, tithing, raising children in the faith, fellowship with other believers—those things will have to be minimized or avoided in order to preserve peace in the home.

2. Alternatively, if the believer in the marriage holds on to a robust Christian life and practice, the non-believing PARTNER will have to be marginalized. If he or she can’t understand the point of Bible study and prayer, or missions trips, or hospitality, then he or she can’t or won’t participate alongside the believing spouse in those activities. The deep unity and oneness of a marriage cannot flourish when one partner cannot fully participate in the other person’s most important commitments.

3. So either the marriage experiences stress and breaks up; or it experiences stress and stays together, achieving some kind of truce that involves one spouse or the other capitulating in some areas, but which leaves both parties feeling lonely and unhappy.

Does this sound like the kind of marriage you want? One that strangles your growth in Christ or strangles your growth as a couple, or does both?

Think back to that off-cited passage in 2 Corinthians 6:14 about being “unequally yoked.” Most of us no longer live in an agrarian culture, but try to visualize what would happen if a farmer yoked together, say, an ox and a donkey. The heavy wooden yoke, designed to harness the strength of the team, would be askew, as the animals are of different heights, weights, walk at different speeds and with different gaits. The yoke, instead of harnessing the power of the team to complete the task, would rub and chafe BOTH animals, since the load would be distributed unequally.

An unequal marriage is not just unwise for the Christian, it is also unfair to the non-Christian, and will end up being a trial for them both.

To read the whole article, click here.

I was thinking about my message for the wedding I was going to do tomorrow.

Weddings are fun.  It brings all kinds of emotions – for the bride, the groom, the family, friends, relatives and even those who are walking by the beach to see all the stuff happening as the event unfolds.

While weddings are great, the real prayer is focused on the marriage.  Weddings happen in a day… marriage, a lifetime.

Much of life is about choices.  We can choose to eat breakfast (oh, that’s why my stomach’s growling) or not.  We can choose to be grumpy or cheerful.  We can choose to keep a positive attitude about life or choose to be negative all the time.  You’ve met some of them, I think.

Stepping into a marriage, you will be confronted with lots of choices.

Let me download 3 quick choices we need to make as one decides to tie the proverbial knot:

1. Choose to love.

While it is a wonderful feeling, we all know love is above and beyond just romance.  While your partner will not always be lovable, don’t be deceived.  It’s equally the same if not worse with you.  You will not always be lovable.  You won’t always look, feel and even smell lovable.

Yet when Paul told the church in Ephesus to love the way Jesus loved the church, he was talking about choosing to love without condition. (Ephesians 5:25)

Choose to love not just because, not just inspite… but choose to love.  Period.

2. Choose to forgive.

Because we live in an imperfect world made up of imperfect people, we will all commit dumb things, intentionally or inadvertently.

Forgiveness reboots the ‘system’.  Forgiveness refreshes the ‘browser’.  Forgiveness restarts the relationship.

Relationships go on for years without being fixed.  Why?  People forget to forgive.  We conveniently forget.  We choose only to forgive who we want and when we want.

Col. 3:13 tells us “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Don’t forget to read the last statement.  “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

If God can forgive knuckleheads like us.  I think, we can choose to forgive those who hurt us.  Our spouse included.

3. Choose to enjoy.

I cannot tell you how huge a part humor has played in our marriage.  My wife loves to laugh.  She knows how to enjoy life.  And I thoroughly enjoy being married to her.

The wisest man at that time, King Solomon wrote in Ecc. 9:9,

“Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love…”

Great stuff.  Wonderful advice.

Someone said, “Pain is inevitable.  But misery is optional.”

You can’t stop bad stuff from happening.  But you can definitely stop misery from camping in your backyard.

I read the story of Michael from the book “LEADING ON EMPTY” by Wayne Cordeiro.  I won’t have space to include that story.  But you will have to read it.  You gotta. It will change your perspective on life.

His story is found in this link.

Life has a way of presenting different choices.  It’s up to us to make those decisions.

But we have had One who exemplified making a tough choice yet followed through.  His motivation?  He so loved that He gave.  So loved us.

Because of that, He chose.