Monday mornings are usually basketball pick up games for me, several pastors, campus ministers and those in full time ministry like LA, Patrick, Owie, Roel, etc. Others who are professional students like Josh join us too. (peace Josh!)

One of the advantages of homeschooling is that I get to bring Ryan, my 8 year old, with me.  That can be considered as his P.E. class (haha).

While he was practicing his shots, I was sitting by the sidelines watching him.

I, then, noticed a pattern.  After he takes a shot, whether he makes it or not, he looks at me to check my reaction.

I usually give him a thumbs up sign or a nod to acknowledge his efforts – whether he makes the shot or not.

Dads, our kids look to us for a reaction, response or approval which is why it is critical to stay close and stay positive.

Giving a thumbs up sign not just because of achievement but primarily for effort is well worth it.

Just a reminder to all the dads out there, our kids are watching.  And how we respond can either build or break their confidence.

Ryan had a baseball game last Saturday.

On the third inning, right before going back to the field coming from the dugout, he comes to me and asks me a question.

“Dad, am I doing well?  Am I doing well?”

It’s interesting how kids come up to their parents to get encouragement as a young camel goes to a pool of water after a long journey.

They want it, need it and look for it.

Most especially from dads.

If I may address the dads out there for a moment.  Take extra time encouraging your kids – especially your girls.

You’ve heard it said that if they don’t get that from you, they’ll try to get it from other guys outside your home.  That’s true.

A few random thoughts on encouraging your kids.

1. Catch them doing right more than doing wrong.

In other words, watch out for moments when they’re doing well and then praise them for it.  It is natural to see the tiny black spot on a big wide white wall.  Instead of noticing the big white wall, we tend to notice the tiny spot.  Catch them doing right.

2. Be generous.

Affirm as often as you can.  You’d rather be generous with your words of affirmation.  Words are like seeds.  You’ll never know which ones will take root and bear fruit.

3. Be sincere.

Use a variety of words.  Kids know when you’re just being ‘nice’ because you are their parents.   Mean it and let it come from the heart.

The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences. (Proverbs 18:21, NLT)

Janina was eating “Lucky Me” chicken mami noodles.

Jenn asked Ryan a question who was 3 years old at that time, “Ryan, do you want chicken mami?”

Almost in tears and with a confused face, Ryan replies,

“No, I don’t like!!! I want YOU, mom…not a chicken mommy.”

A conversation between Janina, my 11 year old and Ryan, my 7 year old that made me bust out laughing went like this…

RYAN: I don’t like Robert (not his real name).  He’s weird.

ME: Ryan, be nice.  Don’t say that.

JANINA: Ryan, you can say it this way – “He’s different and unique.  I don’t get along with him because you dislike the way he acts.”

RYAN: Huh?  But “I don’t like Robert” is shorter!

Oo nga naman.

I went berserk and ballistic to say the least.  Afterwhich, I grabbed the laptop to bring it to one of the PowerMac service centers to get it fixed.

After coming home, I called my son.  He immediately said, “I am so so so sorry dad.  Please forgive me.”

To this I replied, “I am so sorry I got upset.  Do you know that you are more important than the laptop?”

Upon hearing this, to my horror, he shook head.  With tears welling up in his eyes, he emphasized his response to my question by another shaking of the head.

When I started this post saying something unfortunate happened, I wasn’t talking about the laptop.  I was talking about a realization.  I just communicated with my 7 year old that that piece of machine was more valuable than he was.

I had to immediately repent to God and ask my son for forgiveness.  I hugged him and with ‘sweaty eyes’ as I looked at his dispirited face.

“Ryan, I am so sorry for making you feel that way.  I was wrong. You are more important to me than anything in this world.  Can you please forgive me?”

“I forgive you dad.  I am sorry more.”

Hugs followed.  Glad he was very forgiving.

I can be such a jerk of a dad sometimes.

Heavenly Father, please pour out your grace to help me be the dad You want me to be for my kids.

Proverbs 10:19 When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.

Proverbs 29:20 Do you see a man who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

Please allow me to be a proud daddy for a moment and share this homerun video by my 6 year old, Ryan.  This was last Saturday, February 6, 2010.  So proud of Ryan!

Brought Ian Concepcion, Yodo Galvez and my son, Ryan to school this morning. Their conversation went this way…

YODO: Do you like Christmas?

RYAN: I don’t really like Christmas because of the gifts.

IAN: Why don’t you like Christmas?

RYAN: I like Christmas because it’s God’s birthday. (Need some tweaking in his theology)

IAN: Oh yeah! I like Christmas because it’s God’s birthday!

YODO: Well, I like Christmas because it’s God’s birthday and because of the gifts!

Smart kid. I like the way he thinks.

Ryan: “I need my own masahista at home.”

Jenn: “Why?”

Ryan: “Coz I always get tired from school.”

Man, what are they teaching and doing to kids today in school?

RYAN: “Mom, I got 14 smiley faces and 8 stars!”

MOM: “Did you get any warnings?”

RYAN: “One…”

MOM: “You got one!” (a bit upset)

RYAN: “Mom, at least I got 14 smiley faces!”

Oo nga naman.

Then Jenn texts me that Ryan got 14 smiley faces from school. I quickly call her cellphone.

PAOLO: “Wow, Ryan got 14 smiley faces? Did he get any warnings?”

JENN: “Yes, one.”

PAOLO: “One!!!!! Argghhh…” (upset)

JENN: “Well, remember, he got 14 smiley faces.”

PAOLO: “Nga naman.”

How easy for us as parents to focus on the one negative comparing it to the 8 stars and 14 smiley faces.

That’s true with parents and that’s true with everyone of us. Facing a white wall, the easiest thing to do is to see the small dot of dirt rather than appreciating the full wall painted white.

Lord, help us appreciate the little things …. even turning disasters into praise worthy efforts.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up… (1 Thes. 5:11)