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I tucked my kids to bed a few minutes ago.

Two of them had an argument because one said something hurtful towards another.

The easiest thing to do is to tell one to ask for forgiveness and for the other one to acknowledge and forgive. Then life moves on.

I’ve done that so many times.

But tonight, we tried to get to the heart of the behavior.

Proverbs 4:23 (NLT) says, “Guard your heart above all else for it determines the course of your life.”

It is the heart that drives behavior.

I asked both, “When you are mean towards one another, what is really going on? What is the heart of the issue?”

I asked that question because when one is hurt, s/he will try to retaliate to make the other feel his/her hurt.

We talked about the root of the behavior. It really is PRIDE.

“Because I got hurt, I will try to make you feel my pain by hurting you back.”

We don’t articulate this, but in effect, it is what we actually end up doing.

2 QUICK THOUGHTS:

1. As parents, it is good to not just ‘fix the problem’ and then move on. Telling them to go to their room is probably the simplest way to do it. But it doesn’t solve the heart issue. It actually worsens if unresolved.

2. Unfortunately, this type of thing doesn’t just happen to kids. It happens to adults as well… all the time. We retaliate when we get hurt.

Hurt people hurt people. But free people free people.

Lord, teach us to see the folly of our behavior and go beyond the surface to check out the heart issue. When we see the real issue, that’s when we can go to you and ask for grace to overcome. In and of ourselves, it is virtually and absolutely impossible. Yet your grace is more than sufficient.

Dad, what are you trying to build?

Going through the book of 1st and 2nd Kings, you’ll notice a phrase that keeps getting mentioned, “…and he did evil in the eyes of the Lord…” (1 Kings 15:25-26, 33-34, 16:24, 30, 22:52)

From Ahaziah to Asa, Pekahiah to Pekah, Joram to Jeroboam. The list goes up to 32.

Only 8 of the 40 kings did not have this phrase attached to his name.

One of the things that the kings failed to achieve (though they won many wars and battles) is that they didn’t build sons.  They built kingdoms, yes, but they didn’t build sons.

As a father, what are you trying to accomplish?

Deuteronomy 6:4-7 sh0ws us our 2-fold job description as a dad.

4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

1. TO LOVE GOD WHOLEHEARTEDLY.

A lot of this is caught rather than taught.

As we love God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength, our kids will observe it and imitate.

A word of caution, they can tell if it’s fake or real.  Kids these days are way too smart.  They can smell hypocrisy from 100 miles.

2. TO TEACH OUR SONS DILIGENTLY

Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

In other words, wherever you are, talk to them about God’s word.  This cannot just happen in church or else our kids will learn to compartamentalize their spiritual life.

“Worshipping God is at church. But when I’m in school, I’m worshipping someone else.”

They will not articulate that statement but they may definitely fall into the trap of living it.

Whether we are a royalty or a ‘commoner’, we are not exempted from these.  This is something we cannot delegate to our ‘subjects’ or to our ‘servants’.

I tucked my kids to bed tonight.

We usually have devotions before they go to bed.

Our topic tonight was making major decisions.

I told them that in life, they will be making 3 major ones.

These are the 3 that I told them.

1. WHO WILL YOU SERVE?

Will you serve Jesus, self or the devil?

Joshua challenged God’s people, “choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve … But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” (Joshua 24:15).

This is the first and most important decision you’ll ever make.

And this is one decision you cannot keep putting off.  Remember, not deciding is a decision. You’ve decided not to accept Him into your life. We are either for Him or against Him.  There’s no middle ground.

2. HOW WILL YOU SERVE?

I told my kids that they will have to make a decision how they’ll serve Jesus.

It doesn’t necessarily mean being in full-time ministry as a pastor or a missionary because you can serve Him wherever you are – in athletics, the arts, banking, insurance industry… as in WHEREVER.

Serving Him is not a matter of location but posture of the heart.

3. WITH WHOM WILL YOU SERVE HIM?

I told them that this will be a million years from now. Haha!

But I did say that they will get married one day and making this decision of with whom they’ll serve Jesus with is a critical one.

So I laid my hands on them and prayed for their future spouses – that as early as now, God would prepare the person they’ll spend the rest of their lives with as much as God is preparing them too.

But again, that will still be a million years from now.